Eating Rainbows and Pooping Butterflies
Tommy Botell 2000-2009
May 11th, 2011 would have been Tommy’s 11th Birthday. It has been almost two years since he left us. It doesn’t get easier. We just find ways to cope and make it. I will never be okay with my son’s physical death but I am okay with not being okay with this. I have lost one of the three most precious people in my life and it is not okay. I will always hurt. I will always miss. I will always live looking backwards. This is the way it is. Someone posted that they feel sorry for anyone that knew Tommy. Although I know they are being sympathetic I feel the opposite. I feel sorry for anyone that never got to know Tommy. I am so fortunate that I knew him and he was a part of my life, no matter how short the time. He was so sweet and kind. He was the most loving boy I have ever known. He was so funny and so fun to be around. His attitude is one of the many things I miss. I keep trying to remind myself that this is a day to be happy. 11 years ago my son entered my life. I am so very grateful for that. This is my day to be happy. To celebrate a love that will never die. To give honor to a boy that will never be forgotten. To rejoice that his life on earth was shared with me. That is reason to celebrate! There are so many things about him that I miss. So many memories that I treasure. I am sad that there will be no more but I am so happy that I have so many. I miss my baby more than anyone could ever imagine. But I must remember “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” Dr. Seuss
The Tommy Botell Book Exchange
Last year, on May 11th 2010, we started the Tommy Botell Book Exchange at Tommy’s school, Reeds Creek. When we thought about how we wanted to handle this day, where we wanted to be, and what we wanted to do, Reeds Creek was the only place that came to mind. We are continuing this new tradition this year. Brittany asked if she could take over the project in memory of her brother this year. She has done a marvelous job. The kids have been bringing in their books for months and Brittany has been collecting, counting, labeling and sorting. She has collected over 1,500 books this year from within the Reeds Creek School Community! Last year we had over 2,000 books donated from all over the county. Each book is labeled with this picture of Tommy and a quote from one of Tommy’s favorite authors Dr. Seuss. ”The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”
Carrot Cake with Creamcheese Frosting. Tommy's Favorite!
After the kids pick out a few books they will get a carrot cake cupcake (Tommy’s Favorite), a book marker, and a Tommy Botell Book Exchange bracelet. Then, they can go sit outside on the lawn and enjoy their books and cupcake. It is nice to see all the kids excited about their “new to them” books. Also, seeing the kids hanging out on the grass reading, relaxing, and sharing their books is nice . It is emotionally hard, because I wish Tommy were here to enjoy the day too, but then I have to remind myself that the Tommy Botell Book Exchange would not be if he were here. Hard and sad. We celebrate this day about him without him. It is so very bittersweet.
“I’m glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song, seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone.” Dr. Seuss
- Happy Birthday My Sweet Sweet Boy
Happy Birthday Tommy. Last year, after the book exchange, we came home and wrote messages on balloons and sent them off at 3:57, the exact time Tommy entered our lives. Then, we made one of his favorite meals. We had his ocean meal; salmon (fish) with lots of lemon, broccoli (coral), and pasta (shells). This year we are going to do the same. I can’t help but wonder how tall he would be today. I can picture what he would look like. Here is a quote that would have made him, as he would say “laugh his head off”…”In my world, everyone’s a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!” Dr. Seuss
HAPPY 11th BIRTHDAY TOMMY!
The Storm
“The Storm”
By Katrina Botell
The clouds are dark in the sky.
A flash of light darts across the gloom,
And hundreds of raindrops fly by.
Troubles fall like large hail stones,
Bringing pain and deep despair.
The weight of the world falls onto my shoulders,
As cold water rolls down my face and soaks my hair,
But I stay standing alone in this place,
For I can only stop and stare.
I can feel the thunder deep in my chest.
It rocks the ground beneath me
Making me stumble and taking my breath.
I listen to the whispering of the trees all around me
As they rock and sway,
But I don’t move or make a sound.
I will not run away.
This world seems so dark and cold.
I can see no light through the shadows.
There is no hope that I can behold,
But it can only get better,
Or at least that’s what I am told.
There is a light waiting to be seen one day,
It will come out and our troubles will fade away.
All of a sudden, I can see the Son shining through.
A feeling of warmth overwhelms me
As he reveals this world that he drew.
The rays shine down lighting up the Earth from above
And brilliant colors sail across the sky,
Creating a rainbow, a reflection of His unconditional love.
As birds begin singing, I watch them fly,
And I finally feel safe and sheltered
As I look up to the sky.
I look all around me and can only stare,
He had never left me through this terrible storm
But was standing, guarding there.
Then I realized this storm was created just for me,
As a way to teach me faith and patience
Until I found Him and now I can see,
His arms were always open and waiting,
To be finally wrapped around me.
Another Year. Another Holiday. Another Day of Missing You. Like Every Day Always Thinking of You. Happy Thanksgiving My Love. I Would Not Trade My Thanksgivings with You for a Lifetime of Thanksgivings with Another.
I Love You Son.
Love, Your Mommy
I Miss Him Dearly
I saw a life slip away
on what was supposed to be a perfect day
On a mountain in the sky,
I saw my dear brother fly
away to the Heavens
He was only two years older than seven
I Miss Him oh so Dearly
We celebrate him yearly
On the day he died I cried all my tears
and all of my fears
came true
My life became oh so blue
for darkness came
now we will never be the same
I know that the devil and demons can’t tempt him anymore
for he is safe in the hands of the Lord.
by Brittany Botell
♪♫ ♥ ♫♪ ♪♫Happy Birthday To You ♪♫ ♥ ♫♪ ♪♫ ♥ ♫♪ ♫♪Happy Birthday To You ♪♫•♥•♫♪ ♪♫♥♪♫♥Happy Birthday Dear Tommy♪♫♥•♪♫ ♥ ♫♪ •♫♪Happy Birthday to YOU!♪♫ ♥ ♫♪ ♥ ♥
-
May 11, 2000
- 2001
You are not forgotten, My Loved One
Nor will you ever be.
As long as life and memory last
We will remember thee.
We miss you now, our hearts are sore,
As time goes by we’ll miss you more.
Your loving smile,
Your gentle face,
No one can fill your vacant place.
Nor will you ever be.
As long as life and memory last
We will remember thee.
We miss you now, our hearts are sore,
As time goes by we’ll miss you more.
Your loving smile,
Your gentle face,
No one can fill your vacant place.
2002 2003 2004
2005 2006 2007
2008 2009 2009
Go ahead and mention my child,
the one that died, you know.
Don’t worry about hurting me further,
the depth of my pain doesn’t show.
Don’t worry about making me cry,
I’m already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing,
the tears that I try to hide.
I’m hurt when you just keep silent,
pretending he didn’t exist.
I’d rather you mention my child,
knowing that he has been missed.
You asked me how I am doing,
I say “pretty good” or “fine”.
But healing is something ongoing,
I feel it will take a lifetime.
The Day I Can’t Forget By Brittany Botell
In the morning, my dad tried to wake me up. He could not get me up, so he pretended to eat all of the doughnuts. That got me up! We drove toward Mt. Lassen. We stopped at a store and got a map. My mom, dad, and Katrina got coffee while my brother and I got Dibs ice cream. We drove the rest of the way. During the drive, Dad asked for a dib, we already ate them all! We were close to Mt Lassen when Mom spotted a heart on the mountain made of snow. It was cool! At the bottom of Mt. Lassen, my brother and I played in the snow and Mom took pictures of us. Katrina was holding Bear in her purse.
There was a dark cloud above us and we could hear thunder. Mom was a bit worried but said that we would not go back unless it starts raining. Higher up the mountain we could see beautiful lakes and mountains. We had a snack. We had fiber one bars, and fruit snacks that taste like rubber to Mom, Dad, and Katrina. Tommy kept calling them rubbers. Mom took more pictures of Bear, Dad, Tommy, Katrina, and me. Two other families went up with us, one had a baby and the other family had a girl who really liked Bear. We saw a person that was skiing down the hill on a strip of snow. He wanted to get to know Bear because Bear has a Facebook.
We went up a bit further. At about 0.8 miles from the top, there was a rock wall. Katrina was sitting on the wall. Tommy was walking with me. He ran ahead to sit next to her. I went up the path to sit on wall with them. When I tried to sit on the wall, it started to tip. I was flung backwards. Katrina got flung forward. Tommy got his foot caught by the rock and got smashed, at least that is what I think. All I saw was the rock rolling down the hill until it was out of sight. Then I looked down and Tommy and Kat were on the trail below. Kat was bleeding so much it was pouring out of her head. I could barely see the outline of her face, dad was yelling at the top of his lungs screaming like I never heard him before. Tommy was lying there not moving. I ran down there crying. So many people were around Kat that I decided to sit by Tommy because he was hurt too though you could not see any blood. When Tommy started going down the hill dad held him by his pants. That is when he saw the cut on Tommy’s leg. It went ¾ around and we saw right to the bone, but the weird thing is that it was not bleeding.
Then a nice woman walked me down. When I got down the park rangers started questioning me. They were trying to make it look like it was our fault. They were asking if we were pushing the wall, if we were jumping on the wall and if we were trying to make it fall. It made me mad. We are not bad kids. We like nature. After that, someone made me a really good peanut butter sandwich. I made a friend down at the bottom of the mountain, but all I could think of was mom coming down and saying, “Brittany, your brother and sister are dead.” It started raining and I got really worried about my family. Then I saw the helicopters come to get them. When my mom finally came down the first thing she said was “Brittany, Tommy did not make it.” We cried for a long time. Then they questioned us one by one. By the time we left, it was getting late. It was a scary drive to the hospital, because one time dad slammed on the brakes saying that it should have been him. We had to calm him down so that we could get to the hospital. I was not allowed to see Katrina the first and second day. The days in the hospital blurred together. The pain and the sadness mixed, making for the worst experience that ever happened to me. This is my side of my family’s tragedy. 
Reeds Creek School Keeps Tommy’s Memory Alive
Feb. 5th and 6th, Reeds Creek School will be hosting the 1st annual Tommy Botell Memorial Basketball Tournament at the Bethel Assembly of God Church on Luther Street in Red Bluff California.
This is an all Boys Tournament with teams coming from Reeds Creek, Lassen View, Los Molinos, and Sacred Heart Schools. Custom-made trophies featuring the last picture taken of our Tommy 
will be given to the tournament winners. 8 teams will play 16 games in hopes of winning a “Big Tommy” for their school’s trophy case. Mr. Jake Hosler, Principal of Reeds Creek School, says that his goal is to, eventually, have a “Tommy Trophy” in every display case in every school in Tehama County.
Tommy played just about every sport. He wrestled for the Top Fuelers. He was a baseball player for the Red Bluff Little League. He swam for the Red Bluff Tritons. He loved playing soccer for the RBYSL. He was active in all the “in town” sports, which is why he has friends at all the schools competing for one of his trophies. However, because of his age, he never had a chance to play a sport for his school. He was looking forward to 5th grade and the opportunity to be a part of the Reeds Creek Panther team. We have a basketball hoop in our front yard. He used to shoot hoops with his sister. He was a tall boy and was going to be a very tall young man. He would have made a great basketball player.
This basketball tournament means so much to me. In a way, I feel as though Tommy will be a part of the game. It is also so comforting to know that he will not be forgotten. He may not be here to play, but I know those boys will be playing with all their hearts…in honor of their friend, Tommy.
TOMMY’S MEMORY WILL LIVE ON… FOREVER!!
“His Smile Shines” By Eric Rudnick
He is up flying and climbing where the angels soar
Above the majestic mountains peaks
His smile shines brighter now than all the falling stars
It brightens our lives no end
His memory warms our hearts and minds
Being all boy, his pants knees showed
His triumphs plenty to be recalled
Graduating from Tiger Cub to Webelos Scout with his tartan held high
Loyal friend to those he knew
A kind and gentle soul
He always tried his best
He is up flying and climbing where the angels soar
Above the majestic mountains peaks
His smile shines brighter now than all the falling stars
To brightens our lives no end
He left us too soon before we really knew him
About Tommy
On July 29, 2009, Tommy Botell was killed by a rock retaining wall that collapsed while hiking with his family at Lassen Volcanic National Forest.
Tommy's sister Katrina, was seriously injured and suffered numerous facial fractures.
Tommy was a dedicated scout, a fan of Indiana Jones, a budding adventurer and a beloved son and brother.
Tommy died in the loving arms of his mother. He was 9 years old.
This site is dedicated to his memory and keeping that memory alive.
