In the Wake of Tommy’s Death
In the past days, I have opened my ears enough to learn of the events that transpired in other peoples’ lives after learning of our accident. I have been so touched to learn about the power my Tommy’s life and death had on others. I received a firsthand account of the events that transpired at “Spirit West Coast”—from receiving the devastating first phone call, to the lives that were changed. I have also received a letter from a fellow Cub Scout mom telling me about her son’s personal journey with the grief. Her letter made me think of starting a comment area for people that would like to share what they felt, what they experienced, and even what they have gotten out of all that has happened. I have received permission to share her letter with you. Please feel free to share with me.
Memories
Please share your memories of Tommy with me. Even if it is one that I have heard before. Even if you have more than one. I want to keep them all to look back on and give thanks for my little man’s life. I will share as well. Thank you.
Hiking Tragedy Through My Eyes By Katrina
Tommy & his Big Sis Katrina
My family and I were hiking up Mount Lassen on July 29. We had befriended a few families while hiking and had just met a man about two miles up the mountain who was going to ski down the mountain. After talking to him we hiked farther up and watched the man ski down the mountain from a distance. I got a sudden burst of energy and decided to get ahead a ways so that I could stop and take a break later when I got out of breath. My brother, Tommy, came with me. After a while, I stopped and sat down on the side of the path and put my bag down behind me. Tommy, who had lagged behind a ways, was coming up the path and I swung my legs over the side of the retaining wall to face him. He looked like he was bracing himself to climb the wall to sit by me and I started laughing and told him to go around. He looked up at me and smiled. Then he rounded the corner, sat down next to me and swung his legs over the side too. He was so happy with himself to get this far and had a huge smile on his face. We watched our mom, sister, and dad who was carrying our dog, Bear, climb the path. I looked down to change the song on my iPod and when I looked up I saw my sister round the corner. She pointed at a few small rocks rolling out from under the retaining wall and said, “Look a mini avalanche.” A ways behind her my mom and dad were waving and we waved back.
My sister was about to sit down next to Tommy when I heard a scream and felt myself being flung forward. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again I was on my side facing the mountain. I couldn’t feel anything. In seconds my dad was there and he rolled me onto my back. I heard him screaming franticly “Somebody help us!”. Then my mom was there holding my head. The only thing I could see was my dad covered in my own blood and one of my brother’s feet. All of a sudden, the feeling came back to my body and I realized I was drowning. My mom and dad realized this at the same time and tilted my head up so that I could spit out the blood. I looked over at Tommy and saw that he was in a fetal position, screaming and kicking my leg. My sister, Brittany, came down to where we were, crying hysterically. My dad started yelling, “Get off the wall!” while my mom yelled “Help us!” Then my dad looked down at me and asked me if I was ok. I realized I could move my arms and legs and gave him a thumbs up. I heard Tommy say, “Mommy, I can’t see.”
Finally, a few of the people around us came to help. Tommy, who had started to slide down the mountain, was pulled back up so that they could begin CPR. I heard that someone was going to lead Brittany down the mountain and she left. My dad repeatedly told me to spit the blood out at him and asked if I was ok. Each time I would spit and give him a thumbs up. The pain in my face was overwhelming. After a while I started to get worried that I might have brain damage so I started doing the multiplication tables and a few songs that I learned in forth grade in my head to test my memory. I stopped when I heard a horrible gurgling sound coming in Tommy’s direction. I realized that it was because they were doing CPR. The noise still really scared me.
Finally, I don’t know how long later, the helicopter came. I heard someone say to my mom, “We’re going to take your daughter up first.” I felt relief that I could finally be taken to the hospital and scared for my brother. They lifted me onto a sling and strapped me in well. They didn’t cover my eyes though, so as the helicopter flew away I could see the mountains and the sky around me. I was slowly lifted up beside the helicopter where I stayed for the rest of the trip. When the helicopter landed I was rolled over and put into the next one. In that helicopter they numbed me and I felt so much relief that I started to fall asleep. The people in the helicopter made sure I stayed awake and every time my eyes would drift closed they would tell me to open them and to stay awake.
We eventually landed and I was rolled into the hospital. I heard someone ask “Do we know who she is?”. Then, they started repeatedly guessing and asking me what my name was. I tried to tell them but everything came out as mumbles. They put staples in my head, and stitches and needles in my arm. Eric Rudnick, a family friend, came after a while and asked me if I knew who he was. I mumbled a response and they seemed to take that as a yes. I kept throwing up blood and they tried sticking tubes down my throat, but I gagging on them. Then I had a cat scan done and was rolled into another room where I spent the night. That night was hard. My nose was clogged up so I had to use my mouth to breath. I had so much blood still in my mouth that I sounded like I was gurgling mouthwash as I breathed. I woke up hourly and was constantly poked with needles.
Morning finally came, and my mom and dad came in to see me. It took almost all of my energy just to choke out, “Happy Birthday Daddy.” He smiled at me and looked like he was about to cry. I turned to my mom and asked “How is Tommy?” She looked depressed and said that he was lifted away in the helicopter. That’s when I realized that he was gone.
Poem
All heaven was in mourning,
The day that young man died;
When He closed His eyes, they said,
Ten thousand angels cried.
The angels shed their many tears,
Because He was God’s Son;
But there is a special sadness,
When God takes the very young.
At times like that, I question God,
Why let a child die?
I cannot understand it,
And I need to ask Him why.
I, too, have heard the angels cry,
I’ve heard them cry first hand;
For I, too, gave up a child,
And I’ve tried hard to understand.
Yes, I received God’s comfort,
Though I’m grateful, I want more;
I want reasons; I want meaning,
I am a parent who’s heart-sore.
God can give, and God can take,
I am well aware of this;
But, why my baby … why my child?
Why did God put him on His list?
Did I love my child too much?
Was he too good for this old earth?
Had his purpose here been filled?
Was that why he was taken first?
I awake each day with questions,
I fall asleep at night, the same;
So many times I ask God why,
I’m both saddened and ashamed.
But then, in reflective moments,
When my prayers are most intense,
One word keeps going through my mind,
Patience … patience … patience.
Maybe now is not the time,
To explain this great heartache;
Even if I knew God’s reasons,
What difference would it make?
Can’t I just be grateful,
For any time we had?
Accept God’s action without question?
Why is that so very bad?
What’s my hurry … why my pressure?
Is my faith not strong enough?
God will explain it when He’s ready,
Surely I can trust that much.
God understands my broken heart,
He, too, gave up a Son;
He knows the pain of one lost child,
He weeps with me, and we are one.
Just as I talk to God each day,
I talk to my precious child;
I blow him kisses, and I say,
“See you, honey, in a while.”
A Mother’s Worst Nightmare by Tommy’s Mommy
My family and I have always been the type of family that enjoys the outdoors. We love to fish, camp, and hike. On July 29 2009, our camping adventure turned into a family’s worst nightmare. I got up that morning and packed peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, granola bars, and water. Our goal for the day was to hike Lassen Peak Trail and have a nice picnic lunch at the top. My son, Tommy, grabbed his Ranger Rick Binoculars. He wanted to see if he could spot Red Bluff from the peak. This was to be our third hike up to the peak in the last four years. It has some of the most magnificent views of the area as you hike up the trail, but the real reward is the view from the top. It is simply breathtaking.
We started up the trail, talking to other families as we hiked. We made several stops to drink water and have snacks. My son kept reminding me that “a hydrated Scout is a happy Scout.” Along the way, we stopped to take pictures for people and they returned the favor for us. We were getting to the last part of the trail, known as the switchbacks. My kids went up ahead of us. Tommy turned around and said, “Mommy, I am doing really good, huh?” I said, “Yes, you are, buddy.” Katrina and Tommy sat on a retaining wall and Brittany was standing up behind them, preparing to sit alongside of Tommy. As I was approaching, Katrina and Tommy were waving at me and my husband. I can remember thinking “what a great Kodak Moment.” I stopped for a moment and was about to put my camera up to take a picture when I saw the wall and my kids fall and the wall roll over them. My husband was running toward them. I threw my camera, flung my backpack off, and went running to them. I threw myself on the ground next to them. Brittany had run back down the trail and was standing there crying. I started screaming “HELP ME!!” My husband started screaming “SOMEBODY HELP US”. We screamed over and over again. People were just staring at us, not knowing what to do.
We could see that Katrina was severely injured, because she was covered in blood and had a huge gash on her head. Blood was coming out of her mouth and she started gurgling it. We told her to keep spitting the blood out. She told me later that she thought she was going to drown in her own blood. I could see only her beautiful blue eyes through all the blood. I repeatedly told her not to go to sleep and asked if she was okay. She kept giving me a thumbs up sign every time I asked. We began to believe that no one was coming to our aid, so my husband threw someone his cell phone and said, “Find service and call 911.” This was at about 12:30. Unfortunately, I could not tell how injured my sweet baby boy was. He did not have any blood on him. He started to slide down the mountain on his stomach. My husband yelled for someone to get him. People were standing on the paths above us and he started yelling for them to get off the path. He yelled, “You can kill us all…Get off the trail!”
My husband told me to hold Katrina’s head where it was bleeding and apply pressure to stop the bleeding. He then got behind Tommy and tried to keep him from going down the hill. He lifted him up and put him near me and Katrina. Tommy looked my way and said, “Momma, I can’t see.” I saw that his eyes were dilated. I said, “He has a concussion.” I remembered hearing that if someone has a concussion they shouldn’t be moved, so I told him to come next to me and put his head on my leg. My husband helped him over. I saw that he had a huge piece of flesh missing from his leg but no blood was coming from it. As I was telling Katrina to spit, I remembered that someone with a concussion should not fall asleep so I turned my head back to Tommy to tell him not to go to sleep, but he was gone. His eyes were open but he was gone. I started screaming, “HELP TOMMY, PLEASE HELP TOMMY!”. People were standing around looking at us. That is when a couple of people cleared an area next to me to start doing CPR. Brittany knelt down and touched her little brother and said, “Momma, he is cold.”
They started CPR on him. My husband and I begged Tommy to breathe. I told him, “He was surrounded by angels that were helping to bring him back to me. Come back to me!” Someone offered to walk Brittany down the mountain. I threw my cell phone to a young man and asked him to go around the corner (where there was service) and call our friend and family physician, Debbie Sutcliffe. This call was made at 1:32. He came back and said that she reported that a helicopter is being sent. People continued to work on Tommy, but they found no pulse. A minister that was hiking the trail came and said a prayer over Katrina and then Tommy. I began to beg God, “Not Today, Please Don’t Take Him Today.” I began to sing to the children, “You are my sunshines, my only sunshines…” and “Hush Little Baby”.
After hours of waiting, a ranger made it up to us. He said he had no medical training and that help was on the way. Another ranger came after that. Then a boy came and threw some of the paramedics gear over by us and said he was helping them get their gear up to us. The paramedics came and started working on Tommy. I think it was around 3:30-4:00 when a man from the helicopter said that they would be taking my daughter first. They said they were sorry, there was nothing they could do for my son and placed Brittany’s pink Tinker Bell sweatshirt over his face. My daughter, Katrina’s head was still on my right leg and I still had her head wound in my hand. They brought the sling to put her on so that she could be airlifted.
My husband was crying and hugging Tommy’s face, saying, “Oh Tommy, oh dear Tommy.” I laid my head on Tommy’s body and held him as I watched them fly Katrina away under the helicopter. I laid there holding on to him until they said the second helicopter was there to take him. They loaded him up. As we began our hike down the trail, I stopped to watch my baby boy fly off and remember thinking, “How he would have loved to have flown in a helicopter.”
It was a sad, solemn hour and half walk down the mountain. My heart hurt. My mind questioned how and why this could happen. Was my life too perfect? Was I too happy? How can this happen? My sweet little man was gone…in a matter of minutes. My life will never be the same.
In Loving Memory of Tommy Botell
On July 29, 2009, Tommy Botell was killed by a rock retaining wall that collapsed while hiking with his family at Lassen Volcanic National Forest.
Tommy’s sister Katrina, was seriously injured and suffered numerous facial fractures.
Tommy was a dedicated scout, a fan of Indiana Jones, a budding adventurer and a beloved son and brother.
Tommy died in the loving arms of his mother. He was 9 years old.
This site is dedicated to his memory and keeping that memory alive.
About Tommy
On July 29, 2009, Tommy Botell was killed by a rock retaining wall that collapsed while hiking with his family at Lassen Volcanic National Forest.
Tommy's sister Katrina, was seriously injured and suffered numerous facial fractures.
Tommy was a dedicated scout, a fan of Indiana Jones, a budding adventurer and a beloved son and brother.
Tommy died in the loving arms of his mother. He was 9 years old.
This site is dedicated to his memory and keeping that memory alive.
