Eating Rainbows and Pooping Butterflies

Tommy Botell 2000-2009

Tommy Botell 2000-2009

May 11th, 2011 would have been Tommy’s 11th Birthday. It has been almost two years since he left us. It doesn’t get easier. We just find ways to cope and make it. I will never be okay with my son’s physical death but I am okay with not being okay with this. I have lost one of the three most precious people in my life and it is not okay. I will always hurt. I will always miss. I will always live looking backwards. This is the way it is. Someone posted that they feel sorry for anyone that knew Tommy. Although I know they are being sympathetic I feel the opposite. I feel sorry for anyone that never got to know Tommy. I am so fortunate that I knew him and he was a part of my life, no matter how short the time. He was so sweet and kind. He was the most loving boy I have ever known. He was so funny and so fun to be around. His attitude is one of the many things I miss. I keep trying to remind myself that this is a day to be happy. 11 years ago my son entered my life. I am so very grateful for that. This is my day to be happy. To celebrate a love that will never die. To give honor to a boy that will never be forgotten. To rejoice that his life on earth was shared with me.  That is reason to celebrate! There are so many things about him that I miss. So many memories that I treasure. I am sad that there will be no more but I am so happy that I have so many. I miss my baby more than anyone could ever imagine. But I must remember “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”  Dr. Seuss

The Tommy Botell Book Exchange. Read and Succeed in Memory of Tommy.

The Tommy Botell Book Exchange

Last year, on May 11th 2010, we started the Tommy Botell Book Exchange at Tommy’s school, Reeds Creek. When we thought about how we wanted to handle this day, where we wanted to be, and what we wanted to do, Reeds Creek was the only place that came to mind. We are continuing this new tradition this year. Brittany asked if she could take over the project in memory of her brother this year. She has done a marvelous job. The kids have been bringing in their books for months and Brittany has been collecting, counting, labeling and sorting. She has collected over 1,500 books this year from within the Reeds Creek School Community! Last year we had over 2,000 books donated from all over the county. Each book is labeled with this picture of Tommy and a quote from one of Tommy’s favorite authors Dr. Seuss. ”The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

Carrot Cake with Creamcheese Frosting. Tommy's Favorite!

Carrot Cake with Creamcheese Frosting. Tommy's Favorite!

After the kids pick out a few books they will get a carrot cake cupcake (Tommy’s Favorite), a book marker, and a Tommy Botell Book Exchange bracelet. Then, they can go sit outside on the lawn and enjoy their books and cupcake.  It is  nice to see all the kids excited about their “new to them” books. Also, seeing the kids hanging out on the grass reading, relaxing, and sharing their books is nice . It is emotionally hard, because I wish Tommy were here to enjoy the day too, but then I have to remind myself that the Tommy Botell Book Exchange would not be if he were here. Hard and sad. We celebrate this day about him without him. It is so very bittersweet.
“I’m glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song, seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone.” Dr. Seuss

Happy Birthday My Sweet Sweet Boy
Happy Birthday My Sweet Sweet Boy

Happy Birthday Tommy. Last year, after the book exchange, we came home and wrote messages on balloons and sent them off at 3:57, the exact time Tommy entered our lives. Then, we made one of his favorite meals. We had his ocean meal; salmon (fish) with lots of lemon, broccoli (coral), and pasta (shells). This year we are going to do the same. I can’t help but wonder how tall he would be today. I can picture what he would look like. Here is a quote that would have made him, as he would say “laugh his head off”…”In my world, everyone’s a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!” Dr. Seuss 

6 Responses to “Eating Rainbows and Pooping Butterflies”

  1. Daddy-Poo says:

    Happy Birthday Tommy. Huggs for you today. Love you, miss you.

  2. Tommy, I can hear the Angels singing a special Birthday song. It seems like yesterday when your Dad called me to say you were born. Such excitement was wonderful to hear. Love you Tommy, Happy Birthday Grandma Barbara xxx

  3. Mommy says:

    Happy Birthday Tommy. I miss you so much. Thank You for being such a great son. I thank God for letting me be your mom. I love you. There will never be another you. Today’s book exchange went well. Everyone had a nice day in your honor, buddy. I pray everyday for strength and God always provides. Happy double 1 birthday my love.
    Your Mommy

  4. Brittany Rose says:

    Happy Birthday Tommy!!! I miss you so much. It has been two years since your 9th birthday. They say that pain eases with time… sorry to all those who hope it will grow easier, but it does not. The pain stays the same. We just learn to cope, but the wound in our hearts are never healed. Tommy will not have time to miss us. 1000 years on earth is 1 day in heaven, so it will be like 10 seconds to him. ;) I am loving and missing Tommy now and forever.

  5. Daddy says:

    Happy Birthday Tommy. Miss you lots. Love you forever.

  6. Tommy, always in my thoughts and in my heart.
    Grandma Barbara

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